Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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