I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
