Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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