so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
