Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
