margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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