BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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