I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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