you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
