I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
