I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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