The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
