what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
