What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
