I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I fill condoms, not promises.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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