my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Terrible idea I love it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
