North Korea, Best Korea!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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