I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
