His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
pray to the hookup gods
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
