Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize