The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
