How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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