Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
