Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
there is puke in my bra ... again
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