i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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