We won't sleep together?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
