VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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