Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He passed out mid-signature
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
