There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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