I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
