Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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