Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
