pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
