I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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