Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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