Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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