it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
