He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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