she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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