oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
