No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
