All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
