It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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