I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
