I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
