so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
