3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
