How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
