Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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