ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
